neon abstracto

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

State of recovery

It has been a long holiday. Sometimes i just don't get it why every one is so looking forward to the M'sia trip. Well, at least the closest person who understands me is my sister, who look forward cos of more ang pao to spend.

Those few days have been missing people back in S'pore. Missing all the noises and the relationships back there. Sometimes i asked myself: what if i were to migrate to other countries suddenly, who will be the first person who came into my mind? Well, this thought was aroused when i sent out CNY wishes out on Eve's eve. So pathetically only a few replied at the end of my ang pow trip. of cos it's just a thought though.

I didn't really say the trip was an enjoyable one, but at least it pulled me out of technology for once. Hmm may be i started to realised how Fides felt at times ( do correct me for appropriate ammendments in a gentler manner!). As i went over to visit my relatives, the atmosphere was filled with joy and pleasure. However how come i can't feel the warmth other than the heat?

Sometimes u have to think of these 2 things:

Who will think of u when u are not around,

Who u will think of when u are not around.

Well guys, seriously, i'm just so happy that i'm back!! By the way, Rm 2 = S$0.80 ; i'm not really enthusiast to change my Ringgits back to S$ anyway.

It's always good to miss someone, when u know that person is missing u too :)

Friday, February 16, 2007

Move Along

In life, we may lost lotsa things along the way. Of course, this may literally meant objects and belongings, however what if u lost some one over night?

Many people stepped into our life. Yet we can't be sure whether who'll one day gonna stay and who'll leave us. Many of us are interlinked and bonded in many ways. There are some who u met out of no reason, and up till today u still dunno how on Earth u both can get along so well. There are others where u met from the help of fate. Lastly, there are few just act like magnets of same polarity: no matter how much u put them together, the best is still not to put them together.

However, imagine, what if one day one of ya best pals stepped out of ur life instantly?? There are many things which are irreversible and worst, hard to accept. There are things which are difficult to change, difficult to turn ur life. We have took advantage of many things and people arounds us. It's ignorant to see that everything revolves around us will last forever.

I had lost many things in my life, not to mention the people around me.

This time i did not lost one person, cos i chose to withdraw.

Looks like certain things have to change in life.

Happy CNY to everyone; make clever resolutions!

Monday, February 05, 2007

Let's move on

Ours lives revolves about many things. Family, friends pets and buddies. There are always some which we would be some dearest which we'll hold on to and didn't wish to let go. Perhaps we are species of habit. We tend to repeat the same things again and again, praying that our everyday life will never change. So that we can spend our everyday with the same thing, with the same person at the same time.

This is why we are never bear to let things go. Similarly, this is how we hold on to time. There are times where we learnt what is pain, there times where we learnt our joy. However, did you ever noticed, we tends to hold onto out pain rather than our joy? Recall any events that happened recently to you. Issit the fear in pitch darkness or the bed of roses?

There are times where overhead us will be storms. During the shipwrecks, sailors left with painful scars. However these scars are not there to tell them how tormenting or to remind them of the painful past. Instead, those scars are left there to serve as a reminder of the carelessness and forgiveness of themselves. It reminds them of what happened in the past. The difference is, LEARN from it and MOVE ON.

Thy seek forgiveness and shall be forgiven. It is not whether others that forgive u that matters, but is whether u'd forgive urself that matters.

Now give urself a chance, don make the same mistake. Talk to me. I'm waiting.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

What goes around comes around

Life is about making choices. There are many choices in life that eventually inevitable and had to be made one day. From choosing ur courses carefully as u advance to university to selecting ur partner to spend with for another half of ur life, no one wished to make the wrong selection. Perhaps this is why life is ever that challenging and interesting. To the limitation of the outcome we can predict, we can only soar, blindly.

It has been one of the most complicated period of my life. I only told my mum who always clinged onto me unwilling to let go: ma, i m 17. Perhaps 17 is a very harsh word, especially to her. However, it is a signal to her that my life is about to change. Many things happened unexpectedly. Many things u wish to happen, didn't turn up as expectation. Yet certain things still caught me by surprised.

I had made 2 most difficult decisions. However even had solved one, it's still a long way to settle another. This 2 choices just make up to one equation:

people u liked loves u + people u loved like u = complicated.

Somtimes we will notice that the more we wan something, the more distant it appear to be. Just like how each of us everyday hunting for the truth. Most of us one the truth, for if we gave the truth, there's nothing to hide. Yet we had neglected that it's the truth that hurts most. It's a very contradcting idea: we wanna know the truth; we don wanna know the truth cos we know it hurts. Then i constantly asked myself why i'm still pursueing the truth which hurts myself.

I just don wan others to hurt and waste their own time. As time goes, many things change. Yet there are some things which will always remain the same.

On the other hand, me myself is seeking the truth. It's then i realise that to like and to love is totally 2 different world. Thay are very close yet makes a very wide separation. For if u are confused and misinterpreted by both words, u may remained confused in ur whole life. It is not the confusion that i fear, but it is the fusion of both of these elements. Although now i know that even if i were to be her shelter, she would not be there; even if i call her when she needs comfort, she won't be there; even if i waited to spend my joy and share her sorrows, she won't be there; my mind still telling me to advance and advance. SWAT, i'll call myself. Perhaps so many things in life, i'm poor in relationships. Or perhaps, i really confused by the 2 words.

Looks like soon i had to say: i've lost.

There are certain fights which we'll never win, what's ur choice?