neon abstracto

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Hold Thy hands to feel Thou presence

Seriously, the life now is indeed challenging. Everyday STAR programme all the way, not to mention my Monday and Tuesday. Sometimes i still wonder had i became a systematic cyborg wondering in college 12 hours a day or a student enthusiast to learn.

It's hard, real hard. With all the latargic and confusion, it's difficult to think of any optimism now. Sometimes had i wondered what is it that i was working so hard for, what is it that i'm doing this for? Although I had these answers right in my mind since the first time i joined SR, now these dreams seems to fade.

I started to ask: Is all these pain and suffering worth it?

Now, it seems, that my mission is to keep alive till the end of year.

Just then, at the midst of falling and collapsing, one will lose track on those things which have been silently supporting you and those people who have been quietly cheering you. Now at least, i tried to cheer up everyone who is around me, though i'm confused whether am i really happy at the first place. Yet i know, there are always people who believed that if we were to promote, we shall do it together.

If we were to grow, we shall grow together, and help each other out.

Then that's how she stepped into my life. I do admit that most of the times I'm confused and numb, nevertheless i forced myself to stay awake whenever i was with her. She seems to be one lighthouse, guiding me through, telling me that you are reaching the fruits of success soon. Whenever I was tempted to do the incorrect ones, thoughts of her will auddenly made me self conscious, telling me to do the right thing, even though it is hard. Frequently, her presence interests me, her messages excite me, her blessings warmed me. Yet, nothing can be decided. We only can give each other more time.

The only thing i know is we had stepped into each other's life more frequent now. As much as possible, I will make her happy, glad and fulfilled in anyway possible. To me, this is the only way to show how much i had appreciated her. There's already critics out there saying that i'm emo, yet i do not deny that emo is the factor which made me human. Sometimes i do wish to gave her a warm hugs to thank her for everything. Yet, nothing can be decided, I have to give her more time.

The coming days is gonna be the same, repeating again. Yet, fate still made some uncertainties.

In life, there's always something worth fighting for, worth living for; there's always something worth looking forward to.

As much as possible, i'll have to do the right thing, because in the end, i also wants you to do the right thing, even one day when i was not around.

Miss ya and miss every one too. Btw, let mother's day be everyday.