neon abstracto

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Feelings beyond the horizon, thoughts deeper than the sea

Dunno why these few days were a little troubled. A little bit or irritation here and there with a little short tempered lately. Fortunately, i'm still able to hold back myself, being tolerant a little. Otherwise i'll be one step closer to hypertension and one step closer to schizophrenia.

Well, this is quite normal during pre-exams period. Ever since last year's mid year, whenever the period before any major exams, there'll be always near system breakdown situation. Till now i ve accepted it as a norm, so WILL NEVER break down.

Yet it is these few days that we are even closer and knew each other more too. Although in my eyes she's always the optimist one and the torch which light up my life, it is my selfish consciousness which failed to spot details that made me so ignorance towards her needs. Actually these few days she's stressed up with her life too. Yet i failed to notice that thus talked to her like as if i expected consolation from her. I still have many more things to learn though.

It's then i realised, even the torch needed another torch to light her up at the first place:

What goes around, comes around.

When u need someone to be with you, first u need to be with that someone too. Now I have to learn to be more careful and observant too.

I do not want just only she's with me everytime I needed someone, but also I'd want to be with her whenever she needed me most too.

Later it taught me that communication is important. Of course sometimes i have the tendency to keep things to myself, thinking that it's my problem thus others do not have to know about it. Then i realised that my this 'wise' decision was actually a selfish one. Will she be happy whenever she knows that I'm troubled by something in mind which I'd refused to tell her? This time i really forced myself to put me in her shoes. Indeed, I'll never feel good. Now it's not just I do the hearing, looks like i have to participate in contribution too.

Looks like now it's not just care and thought for her at my own hypothesis but by another alternative method:

Sometimes to know accurately how actually other feel, is to put ourself into the other person's shoes.

She's one special person to me. One of those i care for and hold dearly most. Furthermore, during our relationship, we learn from each other more, which made us understand each other even closer. Indeed, I have learnt a lot from her. There's words are beyond description on how much she was to me.

Now i'm thinking will I be able to let go when time comes?

Feelings beyond the horizon, thoughts deeper than the sea.