neon abstracto

Monday, June 04, 2007

Misses, refrain; hold ya, restrain

The school break had stared for a week now, however the break doesn't seemed to be like one. Still gotta wake up at 7 everyday, go to college to attend lesson till 3pm. Shucks, sometimes i start to wonder if this month suppose to be a school break afterall. Well, it used to be a 'school vacation' during the secondary school times. Yes, time has changed.

Though I ponder over the idea of school vacation, I still constantly remind myself of the coming mid-year. 'race is 3-quarters already~ time to start your engines...' yeah thanks Mr Hon, always with his engine anology. For the past few days i 've been chionging my work to finish the revision as soon as possible, so that i can earned a few hours of free time for myself. From the progress now, huh! Long way to go. I'll be delighted even if i can finish my revision on time. Shucks x2

Still, I dunno if this is a good thing. Somehow I feel like i'd neglected her. Well, not really neglect in the sense, but tends to miss her more. Though we've been consistently contact with each over over the sms evey night, sending wishes at least, yet the sensation is quite weird when didn't gotta meet her for the past few days.

There are times were i even wonder if i'd done the right thing. Difficult, it is. She also has her mid-year to prepare too. I don blame her if she wanted to spend more time on her studies since that's the first major exam she's gonna taste, and if not prepared well, it's gonna taste sour for sure. Thus it has been quite difficult to find time to match her's to even come out to spend a lunch together. Furthermore, our timetable these days, really got nothing to say.

Yesterday night she told me about her past. At that time, though she reasoned that she respected me and had to tell me all those, I sensed mixed feelings from her too. Perhaps she's finds that I had to know all those, she respected me. Yet i didn't feel that i should know those stuff too.

Everyone has a past, yet it's only those that you should let go then you can move on.

There're times where I thought of my past too. The days... Yet i realised that i have to let them go. Hmm, perhaps I've not met her if i didn't let it go.

It's by letting things go that give other things in life a chance.

Still, i sensed some other mixed feelings from her. Thus that night i blamed my insensibility that she needs comfort, though finally both sounds alright and cheery. I should stop assuming that everyone should be like me, able to drop things and go that easily. I will not blame her if she wishes to hold part of her past: I'll only say it's not healthy for both of us. Still I'll not blame you.

Perhaps, it's the time restrain that refrained us from seeing each other. Yet that shall be a challenge. I only can know her even more if we were to see ech other more.

I told her before:
Though we may be distance apart, yet out hearts are nearer than before.

Trust me, i can sense you very easily. Talk to me. Miss ya.