neon abstracto

Monday, July 30, 2007

Love the Sun before Dusk and Love the Moon before Dawn

I remembered i received a touching e-mail, saying that sometimes we take everyday for granted. Just like whenever we goes to bed every night, we knows that the moon will rise again tomorrow's night and whenever at dusk, we will know that the Sun will rise again the next day. It is as if tomorrow will forever the Sun will rise and so is the Moon. Had we know the beauty of natural phenomenon of a lunar eclipse and the transformation of the Moon every night? Just like when we looked at all the things and people around us, we know that they will be there tomorrow. We assumed.

It was last Saturday's night that i realised the importance of every moment of your life. That time i was returning home from my Council's party. Tell u, the place is freaking deserted. The bus stop stand luminously in the darkness, just like that you saw in the horror movie. Still, be disappointed that i did not encounter any unnatural phenomenon, but then suddenly came roaring of bikes. Some bikes made a U-turn and stopped at the bus-stop oppositely mine. 3 a group? came more and more. Seems like they are having some gang gathering. Though I'm confident that nothing will assume to have happen if I do not do anything funny, I will not be spared if there's anything happen. Then she's the first person that flashed across my mind. I still have a promise to sms her when i get home. I have to live to go back.

Our relationship has been nearly for a month now, soon. It was such short time, that we only really met up properly once. Thinking back at how did we actually initially get together, it was almost as if we were told in each other's eyes that we were expecting each other already. It was almost naturally occurred. For some reason, unknown, she gave me the reason to love a person again, after that feeling was frozen in time long long time ago.

Still when I looked forward, it was indeniably that our time is gonna be challenging soon. Short-term, she has her final promotional Exam to take: it will decides whether she will stay with me till i finished my A' level, or even better, a hope that someone will receive me after my NS. Long-term, I will be enrolled sooner than i thought, more or less mentally prepared, yet the most i can't let go is her. Thinking that I for full 3 months I can only feel her through short messages, I will not know what will happen to her when she needs someone most.

It was the breaking point which i was trained to be a man, yet at the same time, failed the principle to be a man - to be with her when she needed someone most.

I do not wish to make that choice, there's still time.

I was so proud of her. Although there are times she said her results not as good as mine, she don wan me to be disappointed by her cca, I'm still proud of her. I was proud of her because she was willing to accept me, willing to love me, even though i told her our time WILL definitely be hard right from the start. I admire her courage admire her persistent. To me, it's the spirit that counts. I never regret by being together with her. She was a gift to me.

Soon we will have to make a choice. It will be a difficult choice.

If I care, I will come out and find her; if she cares, she will wait for me: Now i'm gonna say that i will come out to find her, what's her choice?

I encouraged everyone not to love the Sunshine only when it was Dusk and love the Moonlight only when it reaches Dawn.

May God have mercy on thy souls. 2 fates are in his hand. Love ya.