Sunday, December 30, 2007
Tough time don last tough man do!Hey world!!! Haha I'm so relieved that finally booked out again le! Although this break is quite short, well it's better than nothing still X)
Well, when I first get home I read my dear's blog. It seems that dear dear is starting to get use to our lifestyle. Although I'm feeling glad for her, I still feel a little sad over it. Still remembered our last outing when I was going to be enlisted, her tears wet my shoulder and I can only convinced her that this 2 years soon will be over. Then on our previous outing, the same thing happened again, yet that time is different. That time I know how hard it can really be, how far we can really be away, how badly both of us can miss each other. I can only pat her head and silently looked at her.
Sometimes I felt so helpless. Sometimes I still tell her that no matter what happens, I'll be the first person to appear to stay with her. Yet I felt so helpless in camp. Although I just left for Tekong, at times when I heard she had problems, I could not be there. Even worst is the pain knowing that she will be staying at home, alone needed company, yet I will be out having training. So negative, so pessimistic.
I once asked my Sergeant: am I weak?
You are not weak when you are worried over small matters, you are just concerned. You will only be weak when you think you are weak.I've never met that wise man before, yet I'm totally convinced with him. You are who you think you are, not by others or by anything. Everyone has their own strength and weaknesses. So do I. Perhaps even though I've accepted the fact that I'm now NSF, I'm still having difficulties letting go certain things. The more I tell myself Dear dear will take care of herself, the more I'll worry about her. Perhaps now it's that time that I should be convinced that Dear dear really can look after herself bah. Needs time, more time.
This few days everyone in my platoon is going super high, so time fly pretty fast. Next one even better, heard booking out in 3 days. This time I'll be strong, for the country, for our freedom, for myself and for her. If now I couldn't even look after my own self, how am I going to look after her in the future? Furthermore I've promised her not to think so much, should keep the sacred words too.
Now knowing dear dear's having ther own programmes to occupy herself, I should be glad too. Honestly, somehow I stil feel somethings dear dear still didn't wanna tell me. Still, I'll not force her to, I'll have to give her space. For all I know, if she is to tell me anything, my ears will always ready, for her.
Heard other platoon shouting this after water parade, perhaps 2 yrs really will be in a blink of an eye. I love her very much, know she'll look after herself. There shall be Faith and Hope.
Tough time don't last, tough man do! Dear I love you, my heart will always be with you.
May everyone be enlightened with faith and hope. I believe... Dear I'll be with you down this endless road :)