neon abstracto

Monday, January 28, 2008

Tears of the SUN

Hey ya people! I'm back! Haha so happy that I've booked out after another 2 weeks of confinement due to field camp. Well, our performance and discipline might not be up to standard during the field camp, but the field trip is indeed an unforgetable experience! Although I should be happy that I'm finally that field trip's over, it sucks that now I'm down with fever again.

Sometimes I feel so weak, so weak in everything. Can you imagine, a person that is 18 serving the gang ho ns and fall ill every week?? Mild food poisoning the other time and fever now? I feel so weak...

Other than that, I feel so weak because I always dunno how to console my dear dear whenever she needed help. Recently I just read her blog, then I realised how hard she's living these few days without me knowing. Maybe it's her character or she might not wants me to worry, she'll rather wish to blog it out than telling me. Hey peeps, I'm not blaming her in anyway here, I respect this as it might helps her to release the stress too. Actually she tells me or not, so long at the end of the day I knows that she tucked in her bed with a smile with a smile, I'll know my prayer works, I'll thanked god for loving her and at least I'll feel better for that day.

There are many things I want to do for her, some say it's hard to give the one you love happiness: yet no matter how hard it is, I only need a chance, for in the end she loves it thats most important.

Nothing is more rewarding than her sweet little smile.

I'll ve to admit that this year is gonna be a tough one for her. Dear dislike study, or at least study at this workload. Yes it's true that she can say that the world do not understand how stress and how presurrizing i can get because I'm not her totally too. Sometimes I felt useless whenever i see her so stressed up with her work yet there's nothing I can do. I only hope there's at least something I can do, whatever it is, so long she feel less miserable, it all worth it.

Dear dear, don give up k? You can work hard and study slower, it's definitely better than giving up. If ya's tired go take a rest first k? It's alright, tomorrow will be a better day.

Tomorrow will be a better day: dear I love you, love you with my life. May God love her like he love all his children. May she lived happily ever after...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

HOPE

So fast, i've already completed my 1st month of BMT le. I'm so glad that time had past so fast, especially with all the tormenting trainings that had gone through and all the huge emotional challenges which one had to face to undergo huge change in adaptation. Such a relief that 1st month to go, well, 2 more to go.

Early in the morning I woke up, for some reasons, I wanna go back to bed again. I so wish that one day I'll be able to sleep on that bed every night, spending the rest of my life with the ones i love and the things i like. Indeed everything seems so peaceful, happily ever after, never wanting to go back to that army life again. Yet I know, it's never possible. Although now I'm not feeling the reasons why I should enlisted into NS, i know every man had to undergo the NS such that we can call this land our home, such that this land can be free. It's NS that boys are trained into man, knowing what hardships really are, that boys are now aware and must be able to overcome such a pressure, retaining the sense of hope and perserverence to press on. It's also NS that teaches boys what hardships are really like, that after u are a man, never let the ones u love suffer such a hardships in their life.

Indeed, it's hope that presses me on. Everyday we will undergo vigorous trainings, a lifestyle which even the fittest never likes. Everyday we will be doing the same thing, till we are tired of it. Yet I'm glad that I'm enlisted into NS: because it's now that I'm enlisted, that I now knows what hardships really felt, that I promised myself when the day I stepped out of it, I will never let my loved ones suffer any hardships.

When I was folding my uniform just now, suddenly there was a mixed emotions. Soon I'll be going into field camp in a few days time and it's regarded as the final exam of the BMT. We all know, and even warned "that the field trip was both memorable experience and can be full of
sh*t". Well, after hearing this who will not starts worry what on earth is going to happen? eventually the more i looked at my uniform, the more the storms started to shroud over me...

Once, I asked my beloved one: dear, are you proud that I'm enlisted into NS? Are you proud that you loved a man who can only be by your side once a week?

I was surprised when she replied: Silly boy, of cos i'm proud of you. At least I know that you bravely enlisted and press on in the NS, rather than some others who find all means to escape from it. you're brave, I'm very proud of you.

Dear, thank you for everything you've done for me. It's you that had gave me hope and aims in my life. Although many times you might tell me that you had done nothing, it's the simplest little things that you had done for me, filled with sincerity right from the heart that I'm touched by. There are amny times in which you might not realise, that little talks with you gave me huge insipartions and hope in my life that teaches me to press on. Dear I'm so proud that I've known you, even more that now I'm your bf.

Believe after this things will gets better especially knowing that she's doing better in her studies too. believe that if she presses on, she will excel.

Dear, must press on k? believe you will make it.

It's her that gave me the hope in life: may there be one day that I'll be able to give this hope happiness and love, for I only hope that we will love each other forever and ever.

Dear I love you. What we all need is HOPE...