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YOUR NAME change the pic if you want. Kiatiano 18 Aug Single and available, please Q

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My heart never dies

Hey world! Haha hmm dunno why felt such a relief sometimes to blog... Haha may be my blog has became a trashbin for me to throw out all the trash?? Haha it seems that everytime I seems to have difficult problems then i will blog too... But this time I have something to share with the world too ;)

Today I had just went out with dear dear. For the past few weeks she just had her exam. Honestly, Everytime when i received her sms during that period, I don't feel ok at all. Everytime she would sounds joyful, relax and confident, but I know she's feeling very lousy. And it's so that I always feel the pain in my heart to reply her in a positive manner, cos I know she isn't and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel so useless...

Hence I planned today especially for her to enjoy and relax. Booked a badminton court for her last week and wanted to spend the whole day just with her. But think the exams are too hard for her, today was a rough day for both of us. well, to be fair for her, I do not wish to disclose what happened, but i only wish to say that it's that that made me so confused. I do not know if I should say it's not my fault or should I be understanding and forgive her despite me suffering in pain? Although till now there is still friction between both of us, I believe everything will be resolved very soon.

Because no matter what happened, I know that she had her own reason. And I want to be by her side facing everything. And I still trust her, cos I still love her very much too.

Dear dear, no matter what happens, things sure will turn better de. Cheer up k? Hope to hear some cheerful words from you... Without ur encouragements, there will never be peace even in the sunny days. Only ur smile will warm my world, even in the heaviest rain.

Things will turn better de. I believe it will. For I love her, it will. Dear i love you...

God bless :)

A smile on the face with a hatred in my heart

Hey yo everyone! Think everyone must be suspecting my blog is permanently closing? Especially when there's so many complains about any updates in my tag :P

Well, just that these few months have been a busy season. I still remember last month when my Enchik tells us: This week is going to be a slacking week for you, hence do take care of yaself... *blah blah*, all of us were roaring with joy that finally there's a resting period for us! However the celebration ends when some skeptics went to see the timetable after the briefing and to our horror we see the word... FIELDCAMP!! WOOWWW!!! High man... skeptics win. Now then we realised they can't say e prog sux and we will have to bite our tongues and noded with agreement to everything they tell us. I think the commanders are biting their tongues when they saay it's a slack week too...

Haha Hmm another reason that I have detached myself from blogging, other than both mentally and physically exhausted every book out, is that it seems after in thee army for so long, I have learnt not to speak. I came across a saying printed at our hall entrance:

Learning is to listen more than you speak.

However with nearly half a year in the army, I'll say living is to listen more than you speak. In the army, no matter how great you are, eventually when the higher authority speaks, you will have to follow. I have no intention to rebuke their opinions anyway. However, I notice such a phenomenon that some of them will form up gangs and regard themselves as higher authority among us, which made me felt disgusted and absurd. Many of us criticised them is lazy, unmotivated, remanding gangsters. And looking at some of the lifestyles they are having, it gives me creeps and I always believe that it just happened majority of such people are confined into this camp. Yesterday a minor conflict was brought up with now the whole platoon knows about it. I'm convinced that they will gang up together this time to bully my new section-mate. And I know there'e nothing we can do.

There have been many of such incidents but i know this is different. When I saw him he reminds me of myself 5 months ago when I challenged an ah-neh in camp. Now I'm constantly in disturbing shit while there's nothing I can do. Pray hard that 2 years are fast, just like what my commanders said.

Hence I'll conclude that living in this world is hard and cruel. Especially when you have landed at the wrong place in the wrong time. But i always believe that these are just temporary. One day eveything will retribute back to them. And hence I believe, they're just making themselves more weaker and us more stronger. What goes around comes around...

They will always see me giving them a bright smile to welcome them... And only my buddies know, I smiled with a hatred in my heart, just like they do.